Chad Holland
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Chouteau is now quarantined. - 2007/12/21 23:16
By the power vested in me as some dude who doesn't even live in the town; Chouteau is quarantined and should be avoided by travelers if at all possible. One by one this week, our friends and family have come down with an illness I have termed 'Multiple Orifice Ravishing Entrail Twisting Pain' aka 'MoreTP'.
It started out as a few cases of stomach illness that people recovered from quickly enough. But it hasn't been hit or miss. Sooner or later, it is getting everyone. I watched my loved ones succumb and then recover, and so I was one of the last in my family to be afllicted. Now that I am sick, however, I am ready to declare it an epidemic!
My efforts to contact the CDC to request a large dome be placed over the town and outlying homes (ala the Simpsons Movie) has met so far with no response.
But I implore anyone considering visiting Chouteau over Christmas; beware! It won't pass you over, it will infect you. When you realize you are afflicted, you too will moan in anguish "MoreTP"!
Ye Be Warned!
"The seas be ours, and by the powers - where we will, we'll roam." |